


Club Stardust

by SpencerRemyLvr



Series: A Collection of Ideas [9]
Category: Criminal Minds, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Character, Clubbing, Friendship, Gender Issues, M/M, Slash, gender fluidity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-14 19:54:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3423542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpencerRemyLvr/pseuds/SpencerRemyLvr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt/Request "Do something outside the gender norm, J. Something that not many people do" Well, ma chere, here it is :) Hope everyone likes it! This was a gift to a good friend</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Walking through the doors of the club Stardust was kind of like walking into a different world. Spencer Reid stepped through those doors and he left behind the image that he played each and every day and was finally able to let himself go and just _be_. Tonight was the first night in the past six weeks that not only did the team have free time, but they weren’t too exhausted from a previous case to enjoy it. They had a four day weekend that was all theirs. The minute they’d found out about it, Emily had pulled Spencer aside and insisted that this meant a night out on the town—after a night for resting, of course. They all needed that full night of sleep to feel human again. But the second night she’d declared ‘fun night’ and had firmly told Spencer that he wasn’t going to skip out this time. She, Spencer, and Emily’s girlfriend Maya were going to dress up and hit up their favorite bar/club.

No one would’ve ever placed either one of them at Stardust. Not only because Spencer didn’t come off as the type to go ‘clubbing’, but because Stardust was a mixed club. People of all sexuality were welcome, as well as those of all gender, and anything in between. They didn’t turn anyone away and they didn’t allow discrimination of any kind inside their doors. Not against looks, gender, sexuality, mutants—nothing. It was the last place anyone else on the BAU team would’ve gone and the last place they’d expect to see either Emily or Spencer. Then again, as far as anyone knew, Spencer and Emily were both straight and wouldn’t have any reason to go there. They had no idea that Emily was bisexual, or that Spencer was gay and what he considered ‘gender fluid’.

It’d taken a lot of years for Spencer to finally put a term to how he felt about himself. Being gay hadn’t been all that difficult. He’d known that from the first male crush he’d had in college. It was the gender fluid that had taken him time to figure out and he’d only managed that thanks to one of his psychology classes that had discussed gender and sexuality. Gender fluid is a gender identity best described as a dynamic mix of male and female. Some people who are gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two genders, some days more one than the other, while others feel that they have very defined moments of feeling either male or female. Like any other term or label, it meant something a little different to each person because no two people are exactly the same. For Spencer, he didn’t feel specifically male or female inside, but more a mix of the two. Some days, yes, he felt a little more one than the other, but more often than not he just felt like a mix of both, with both masculine and feminine mannerisms, feelings, tastes. If asked to identify his gender, how he _felt_ not what he was labeled as, his answer probably would’ve been both.

However, raised in the life he had been, and with the views that society had, he’d learned to be accepting of the label put on him. His body was male, people saw him as male, and those were the pronouns he used. It didn’t bother him when someone used ‘he’ when talking about him. There were some who were bothered by it, he knew. A good friend of his that he’d met at the LGBT center downtown, the one who’d actually introduced him to the club he was going to tonight, was gender fluid as well only his shifts were a bit more drastic when they happened and he had a preference to switch pronouns. It was easy to tell which to use. When Vick felt more like Vicki, the makeup came out, and that was a dead giveaway to which pronouns to use. Others still, Spencer knew, used the gender neutral pronouns such as ze and zir.

Spencer was content using ‘he’. It didn’t really matter in the end to him.

What he tended to hide, what Emily had discovered that night at the club, was how his fluidity affected his physical appearance. There was a reason that Spencer kept his hair the length he did. It allowed him quite a few different forms of expression. When he shopped for clothes, he always went for comfortable, but he’d never bothered to worry about which department he shopped in, be it men’s or women’s. At least, not if he could get away with it. He’d learned to do that kind of shopping where he wouldn’t risk running into someone he knew.

The night that Spencer had run into Emily, he’d had his hair clipped back over one ear with bright star clips that Vicki had put in for him, and he’d been dressed in a pair of comfortable slacks, low heeled boots, and a silky purple tank top, with dark purple earrings in. Vicki had bought him the outfit and he’d loved it, loved how he felt in it. Between that and the light makeup that he’d been wearing, there hadn’t been any way to keep his secret a secret from Emily anymore.

She’d risen above and beyond for him. Not only had she understood, she’d been extremely supportive and Spencer had found himself one hell of a friend. Someone who didn’t think him strange, didn’t try to push him one direction or the other. Who didn’t just assume that he liked feminine things because he was gay, as if gender and sexuality were so automatically connected. Someone who had taken the time to sit down with him and ask all the important questions, like what he felt, what made him uncomfortable, was there any term he preferred or anything that she shouldn’t say, and did he want her to switch pronouns when she spoke with him outside of work? Spencer had been completely and utterly stunned. He’d been even more stunned a week later when she’d dragged him home with her after work and insisted they were going out together, and she hadn’t even questioned when he’d gone for a more masculine look that night. Emily accepted every bit of him without prejudice and Spencer absolutely adored her for it. She was like the supportive big sister he’d never had. Not only did she support his lifestyle, she encouraged it, supporting him to open up in ways that he was usually a little afraid to.

She was at his side tonight, Maya already beside her. The three of them created quite an image according to Emily.

Maya was most definitely a very feminine girl. Petite, with a slender waist and a gorgeous figure, she rarely ever wore pants, opting instead for skirts and dresses. Tonight she was in a little black number that Spencer knew she wore just because Emily loved it. Her auburn hair was piled messily on her head with curls spilling down here and there and her blue eyes were alight with the happiness of simply being out with the one she loved. She was one of the happiest people that Spencer knew. Quiet, like he could be, yet spunky, and she loved Emily with everything she had.

Beside her, Emily was looking pretty good herself. She’d gone for comfortable in the lower heels, the form fitting black slacks and the low cut white floral top, yet she looked even more beautiful for its simple elegance.

Spencer was comfortably dressed as well, in clothes he didn’t get a chance to wear anywhere else. Emily had dressed him tonight, much to her enjoyment. She’d put him in a pair of simple blue jeans—they were a pair he’d admired in the store and that he wouldn’t have bought if Emily hadn’t given him the courage. They were women’s jeans, which he found he could fit into thanks to a naturally slender waist. They were just plain dark blue jeans. But according to Emily, “They sit nice on your hips and they actually give you an ass, Reid. A lot better than those usual slacks you wear.” To go with it, she’d put him in a blue silk V-neck and one of her fitted black blazers to go over it. She’d brushed his hair loose and free and put on a light coating of makeup, mostly around the eyes. Just a bit of eyeliner and some color to make them ‘pop’, she said. He’d been the one to add the earrings, just because, and he’d picked out the low heeled boots that came halfway up his calf.

All in all, he highly doubted anyone from work would recognize him at all and that was fine by him. Tonight wasn’t about work.

As had become their norm, the trio didn’t stay downstairs where the main dance floor was. They took the side staircase up to the second floor where the bar and the pool tables were at. Up here they could still hear the music, still enjoy the sound, but they could find a table and share a few drinks or they could challenge one another to a game of pool, and if they felt the urge to socialize more or dance, all they had to do was dip downstairs. This place catered to pretty much all tastes. It worked out for them, because Emily and Maya often enjoyed going to dance whereas Spencer more liked the upstairs atmosphere where he wasn’t as crowded by people. With this setup they could alternate as needed and just enjoy themselves.

Downstairs was already pretty packed but the upstairs wasn’t too bad. They easily found themselves a table towards the far side of the room, near a surprisingly open pool table. Emily left him and Maya to hold the table while she went to grab the drinks.

Maya folded her arms on the table and smiled brightly at him. “I’m so glad you guys were able to get out tonight. You’ve been running ragged lately.”

“Things have been hectic lately.” Spencer admitted. He twisted a little in his chair, years of habit having him keeping his back towards the wall. He smiled back at the sweet girl that had become a rather good friend to him over the past year that she and Emily had been dating. “What about you? Emily said the hospital’s had you on rather long hours.” Maya worked in the pediatric ward at the hospital and sometimes ended up with hours just as long as theirs.

They talked about work until Emily came back to the table with their drinks. She listened for one second as she set the drinks down and then quickly cut in. “Hey, hey, none of this! This is not a night for work talk! I’ve had enough shop talk.” Folding herself down into the chair at Maya’s side, she slid one arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders and pulled her in close against her side in a casual and comfortable move that made Spencer smile. She picked up her own drink and held it up. “Enough shop talk. Tonight’s about us and about having fun!”

“Hear, hear!” Maya cheered, lifting her own glass. Spencer lifted his as well and couldn’t help but laugh when the girls clinked their glasses against his.

It was always so easy for Spencer to relax when out like this. He’d never really been able to find the words to explain it to anyone else properly how he could go from the shy and nervous kid that most saw every day to this more relaxed, easy going person that he became when he let go like this. There was just something about not having to hide, about being able to openly be himself with people who knew him and who accepted him, that just made him so much more relaxed. He was still mostly shy, still stumbled occasionally and moved with that awkwardness that came from being so caught up in his own thoughts that he sort of forgot the physical world around him. The difference was really that he was more comfortable in his own skin this way. And while that may not have given him the ease or grace that others had naturally, it did give him a more relaxed and approachable air.

A group of guys came to the open pool table near them and Spencer shifted himself just enough that his long legs weren’t sticking out anymore. He drew one up enough that the heel of his boot rested on the bottom rung of the seat, and he crossed the other, keeping that foot tucked close enough to the table not to be in the way. As he sat back in his chair, Spencer ran his eyes over the people, not even noticing that Emily did the same. It was habit for them from too many years at the Bureau. These guys were close to them, close enough to cause trouble, and training had them assessing the potential threat and looking for anything that might hint that there could be trouble. While this club was one of the most tolerant around, and well known for that, there were some people that could lose their tolerance when they got enough alcohol in them. Those were the ones you had to watch out for.

These two guys most definitely looked like they could be a threat, if they wanted, but nothing in their body language suggested that they were going to cause trouble. Emily dismissed them with one small, appreciative look, one that didn’t go unnoticed by her partner. The arm slap that Maya gave her had Emily laughingly protesting and Spencer smothering a smirk in his drink. “What?” Emily tried for innocent and failed miserably at it.

“You know what, Emily Prentiss.” Maya mock scolded her.

Spencer ignored them briefly while the two had their playful, fake argument. Whereas Emily had dismissed the two, his own eyes couldn’t help lingering. Both men were decidedly attractive. One was shorter and on the stocky side, the build of a brawler. Someone you definitely wouldn’t want to mess with. His hair was dark and messy and he had thick sideburns that not many could pull off. A good looing, strong sort of guy. Attractive, yes, but not typically Spencer's type. Now the guy with him…Spencer had to remind himself not to stare. This guy had the kind of looks that just begged to be looked at. Darker auburn hair pulled back into a ponytail, with just a bit hanging down over a devilishly handsome face that was partially hidden by sunglasses. Full lips were curved up in more smirk than smile, like he was causing trouble of some sort or at least plotting it. He was tall, probably taller than Spencer—a huge plus. He had a thing for taller guys. And that body, what Spencer could see of it, was enough to have him humming lightly into his drink. Not stacked with muscles like his friend, he still had the obvious look of a fighter, strength and fluidity in every long, delicious line of him. Spencer had seen forms like that on martial artists before and he wondered if that was something this guy did. Now if only he’d remove that coat; then Spencer could have a much better look. Not that the coat didn’t work for him in all the best ways.

A none-too-gentle kick under the table had Spencer jolting and his eyes snapping back over to his friends. He found Maya and Emily both grinning knowingly at him. Immediately he felt his cheeks heat. “Don’t even start with me.” He warned them both.

Emily lifted a hand and laid it innocently over her heart. “Me? Spencer, I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“Mm hm.” He said dryly. “Try it with someone who doesn’t know you better, Prentiss.”

Reaching out, Maya patted Spencer's arm. “Ignore her, Spencer. There’s no harm in checking someone out.”

“Especially when they’re checking you out, too.” Emily added in a low murmur.

Spencer's eyes shot over before he could stop himself. Sure enough, the gorgeous man was looking his direction, leaning casually against the pool table while his friend racked the balls. When he saw Spencer looking his way, his lips curved up a little more and he tipped his head in a silent sort of greeting that had Spencer flushing all the more. If anything, that just made the guy’s smirk grow.

“Look at you!” Emily teased, her voice pitched low enough that only their table could hear. “Way to go, Reid! We’ve barely even been here a half an hour yet and you’ve already got someone on the line.”

“Oh, be quiet.” He grumbled. He didn’t come out on these nights to ‘hook up’ and Emily knew that very well. It never stopped her from teasing him, though.

“Leave him be, Em! You’re embarrassing him.” Maya scolded. “Be nice to him. Reid, why don’t you tell me about that class you’re taking over at GWU. Didn’t you tell me before that you were thinking about taking an anthropology class?”

That right there was one of Maya’s many skills and one that Spencer had always appreciated. She had this ability to remember pretty much everything people told her about themselves, even little things like their Aunt’s name or when someone’s birthday was, and she showed an honest interest in hearing about whatever a person told her. Emily said it was what made her so good at working with children. She was always interested in what they had to say, even if it was the same story they’d told her twelve times already, and she could always manage to set them at ease with just a short conversation. For Spencer, who tended to get nervous in large social gatherings, appreciated this ability of hers more than most might. Even though he knew she was doing it deliberately, it didn’t negate the effects. He knew she was trying to set him at ease and he let her do it, opening up and answering all the questions she asked about his anthropology course as well as some things she hadn’t asked about. Not once did she cut him off or look like she was bored with it.

She drew Emily in too, until somehow Spencer found the three of them discussing in depth the psychiatric labeling in cross-cultural perspective. Apparently Emily had taken an anthropology course in college just for the joy of doing something that her mother didn’t approve of and she’d found that she’d enjoyed it. That, of course, led to stories about college life, and Maya had them laughing as she told of the pranks that she and the other med students had often played on one another during classes just to help break up the tension that could build.

Little by little it had Spencer mostly forgetting the world around him and slowly relaxing again. He found himself smiling and laughing and having a better time than he’d had in weeks. If every now and again his eyes strayed to the gorgeous guy still playing pool nearby, well, that was all part of being out in a club like this, right?

During one of those quick looks—what person could resist taking a look when that gorgeous body was bent over the edge of the table like that?—he was distracted enough that he missed the look that passed between Emily and Maya. They drew his attention again when they both rose from the table. “We’re gonna go dance for a bit.” Emily told him, taking Maya’s hand in hers and pulling her out. “We’ll be right back.”

It was a normal thing for them to do, so Spencer didn’t think anything of it. Just waved them off before settling back into his seat. They’d barely gone when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He was already cursing in his mind before he even pulled it out. _Please, please, don’t let there be a case. Hotch swore no cases unless an absolute emergency_. He didn’t want to even think about what kind of emergency might be happening for them to be called in. But when he brought his phone out and thumbed open the messages it wasn’t Penelope telling them to come in. It was Emily. _Talk 2 him! – Em_

That devious little witch. Spencer flushed a little and shook his head. _Quit trying to set me up!_ He typed back to her.

It was only a second later that her reply came in. _Psh. Don’t ruin my fun! – Em_ followed almost immediately by another that said _If anything happens, remember, pictures!_

Spencer dropped his head down a little and laughed at that one. He thumbed out a quick _You wish!_ in reply.

Caught up in his message, he hadn’t noticed anyone getting close to his table and he almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a husky, whiskey-warmed voice say “Y’ should do dat more often.”

His gaze shot up from his phone only to find that the gorgeous guy he’d been admiring off and on for the past half hour was standing near his table, leaning back against the pool table and smiling at him. Caught off guard and more than a little flustered, the best that Spencer managed to get out was “I beg your pardon?” because seriously, what was this guy talking about? Do what more often?

The guy’s smile grew a little and, dammit, it was not fair for one person to be that attractive. Especially not when all they were doing was smiling, _smirking,_ and leaning there against a pool table. That shouldn’t be such a hot look. But it was. The guy rested his pool cue casually over his shoulder and tipped his head just a little, a small bit of hair dropping down over his face. “Laugh.” He answered. “Y’ got a gorgeous laugh. Y’ should do it more often.”

There was no stopping the blush that hit his cheeks. Spencer dipped his head a little to try and hide it behind his hair, sneaking a glance up through his bangs. “Thank you.”

“What’re y’ doing over here all alone?” The guy asked him. “Did y’r friends leave y’, cher?”

Spencer shook his head. “Oh, no, they just went to dance.”

“And y’ didn’t go wit’ dem?”

He bit the inside of his lip and shrugged one shoulder negligently. “I’m not much of a dancer.”

“Dat’s a shame.” The way he said it made it seem like he didn’t mean it at all. “Maybe I could buy y’ another drink an keep y’ company until dey come back.”

Oh, sweet Heavens. It was a line, no doubt about that, but Spencer didn’t care. He didn’t care how clichéd any of it was. Honest pleasure warmed his face as he nodded. “I’d like that.”

The guy pushed off of the table and stepped towards him, holding out one long fingered hand. “M’ names Remy. Remy LeBeau.”

Spencer took his hand, something that was rare for him. Shaking hands wasn’t usually his thing. Very rarely did Spencer reach out to touch strangers. But he shook Remy’s hand and enjoyed the warm feel of it, trying very hard not to imagine what that hand would feel like on the rest of him. “Spencer Reid.”

He drew Spencer's hand up to his lips and pressed a kiss against his knuckles. “It’s a pleasure to meet y’, M. Reid.”

Flustered, and more pleased by the gesture than he cared to admit to, his brain apparently short circuited because he found himself stupidly blurting out “You lay it on rather thick, don’t you?” As soon as the words were out he wanted to curse himself for coming off sounding like an asshole. Yeah, that’s really smart. Always nice to be sarcastic and rude when someone’s being kind and flirting. That’s a great way to impress them. _Real smooth, Reid_ , he scolded himself.

To his utter surprise, Remy wasn’t offended. He laughed and gave Spencer's hand a squeeze before he let go of it. “Been accused of dat a time or two.” He admitted, leaning in a little bit closer and flashing a glimpse of red and black over the top of his sunglasses, giving him a quick wink. “Besides, somet’ing tells me y’ don’t mind all dat much, _non_?”

He laughed at Spencer's blush. Not mockingly, just warmly, husky in a way that sent shivers down Spencer's spine. Reaching out, he snagged Spencer's empty glass off the table. “Let me go get dem drinks, cher. I’ll be right back.”

Spencer took a moment to admire that lithe form as it moved through the crowd. Chewing on his bottom lip, he debated for a second and then quickly typed off a message on his phone. Once it was done, he slid it back into his pocket and settled himself into his chair, both shy and eager about whatever was going to happen next. Something told him it was going to be fun.

_You two are on your own. See you tomorrow. - SR_

_And I’m not sending pictures! - SR_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many people liked the gender-fluid Spencer, so I thought I'd add another clip. I may take these and put them on their own document at some point and just do random clips/drabbles of gender-fluid Spencer. I'm not sure. For now, enjoy this clip from their first real date! And to answer all your reviews that ask me if I intend on writing out any of these - Yes. One day, when my other stuff is done, I plan on writing out each one of these. So as soon as I finish some things, I'll be picking from here for my next story. :)

He was late, he was late, he was _late_. Spencer chanted curse in Latin as he tore through the front door of his apartment building and made a mad dash for the stairs. Of all the days to be bogged down with paperwork and actually end up _late_ why did it have to be today? If it hadn’t been for Emily seeing that Spencer had once more magically managed to have more paperwork than everyone else—really, did they all think he didn’t realize that extra files got slipped into his pile?—and coming over and stealing some, he would’ve been running even later. Bless her even more, she’d made sure he got out the door at a semi decent time and she’d even stalled Derek for him so that the man wouldn’t be able to catch up to Spencer and realize just how rushed he was, which would’ve led to questions that Spencer didn’t want to answer. He cared about Derek, really he did, but with as nervous as Spencer already was, the last thing he wanted to do was put up with teasing from his friend about his date tonight.

Spencer took the first staircase two at a time in his effort to hurry. He’d been looking forward to this for days; ever since that night at the club. He and Remy had sat and talked for _hours_ , drinking and laughing and even getting up to play a game of pool. Eventually, something had called Remy away, much to Spencer's disappointment, but the Cajun hadn’t been shy at all about asking Spencer out on a real date. They set plans for Monday night, exchanged numbers, and Spencer had rode on cloud nine the whole way home.

Now here it was, Monday night, and Remy was due to show up any second, hence the reason for Spencer's furious Latin curses. He’d wanted to have enough time to shower and make himself look good. Dates were one of the times where he fell more towards the feminine side of the gender spectrum. He liked to take the time to make himself look good. Dates drew out that part of him that wanted to dress nicer, look nicer. The part that actually cared about what he looked like even though he didn’t in his day to day life. Vicki liked to joke that that was the ‘male’ part of him, the one that just threw on appropriate work clothes without caring about how awkward or out of place it made him look for dressing like a professor instead of an FBI agent. Spencer would always roll his eyes and remind her that he didn’t really differentiate those parts of himself. He was who he was.

When Spencer reached the top of the final staircase, he almost slid as he went round the corner, just managing to catch himself on the railing before he ended up falling flat on his ass. And didn’t it just fit the way the night had gone when he realized that Remy was standing there in front of his door and had just witnessed his less than graceful dash and slip. _At least I didn’t fall._

Those sinful lips curved up into the smirk that had heated Spencer's blood more than once that night. “Well hey dere, Spencer. I guess dat explains why y’ wasn’t answering y’r door.”

Spencer straightened back up and reached down into his pocket for his keys, trying to hide the bright blush of embarrassment. “I am so sorry. There was a ton of paperwork and everyone just sort of dumped theirs off on me and of course, I couldn’t just ignore it or give them back…” Any further rambling was cut off when Remy stepped forward and caught Spencer's chin between finger and thumb. He tilted Spencer's face up, hand sliding to cup his cheek, and then Spencer forgot everything around him when Remy bowed down and pressed their lips together in a kiss that was slow and sweet and that completely stalled Spencer's brain. When Remy pulled back, Spencer could only stand there, lips parted on a soft breath, looking stupidly up at him. Remy smirked and stroked lightly over Spencer's cheek. “T’ought dat might be de quickest way to end dat rant.” He teased Spencer, and his tone clearly made it a tease. “Besides, dat gets dat nerve-wracking first kiss outta de way, _non_? No waiting fo’ de end of de night.”

“I like the way you think.” Spencer murmured. He rubbed his cheek ever so slightly against Remy’s hand, enjoying the smoothness of his palm compared to the calloused fingertips.

Remy swept his thumb over Spencer's cheekbone and hummed in the back of his throat. “Y’ know, technically, we spent enough time together at de club dat dis could count as our second date.”

“Oh?” A hint of a smile touched Spencer's lips.

“Mm hm. Which, if I remember right, means I can do dis again.”

The kiss this time was a little longer and Spencer was breathing just a bit heavier by the time it was done. Remy smiled down at him and gave him one last, quick peck before he stepped back, dropping his hand. It took Spencer a second to remember how to move again. When he caught Remy smirking at him, his cheeks flushed and he scrambled forward to finally unlock his door. Once he got it open, he gestured over his shoulder for Remy to follow him. “Come on it and make yourself comfortable. It shouldn’t take me but a moment to change out of my work clothes and put my gun away.”

“Y’r inviting me in?”

Spencer looked back over his shoulder and gave him an incredulous look. What kind of question was that? “Well I’m not going to make you wait in the hallway.”

For a moment Remy just looked at him. Then, with a shake of his head, he followed Spencer inside. “Has anyone ever told y’ dat y’r far too trusting fo’ an FBI agent?”

“I may not look it, but I am capable of defending myself, Remy.”

“Not everyt’ing’s gonna be scared of dat gun of y’rs, cher.”

There were multiple ways that Spencer could answer that. He could give a standard answer, he could ignore it, or he could show Remy the same trust that Remy had showed him when he’d let Spencer see behind his sunglasses and he could answer it honestly. It only took him a second to decide. Turning around, Spencer looked at Remy and very carefully _pushed_ , using his mind to press back until Remy was firmly held against the wall from head to toe by a force the Cajun couldn’t see. “I can defend myself.” Spencer repeated calmly. Then he carefully let go once more.

The smile Remy wore as he straightened back up was both amused and mischievous. “Telekinetic. Nice.”

Another blush warmed Spencer's cheeks. Damn this man for doing that to him so easily! It wasn’t fair. Tucking a bit of hair behind his ear, Spencer gestured down the hall. “I’ll be, um, right back. Just go ahead and make yourself comfortable. I shouldn’t be but a minute.”

“Take y’r time, cher. We got time b’fore our reservations.” Remy reassured him as he strolled over to look at one of Spencer's bookshelves. “Go ahead, take a minute, put y’r face on if y’ want. I’ll be plenty entertained here wit’ y’r books.”

One word out of all of that rang in Spencer's mind as he hurried back to his bedroom to get ready to go. _Reservations_. Wherever Remy was taking him, it was somewhere that required reservations, and that limited extremely just how Spencer was going to look. The last thing he wanted to do tonight was end up embarrassing Remy in any way. Dressing the way he had the other night at the club, that was definitely out. Running into a guy in a woman’s shirt and makeup at a mixed club like Stardust was one thing. Taking that person out to somewhere that had _reservations_? Yeah, that was something totally different. He needed to be careful about what he chose. Spencer tried to ignore the small pang that gave him as he hurried to put his gun away and get out of his work clothes. Just once, it’d be really nice if he could go out somewhere and not have to worry.

In the end, conscious of the fact that he was keeping his date waiting, Spencer finally settled on a pair of black jeans—and if they were women’s jeans, well, who else but him would know, huh?—and a soft, dark purple dress shirt. He’d chosen nice because Remy had been dressed nice. Spencer had noticed that earlier, despite the embarrassment he’d been in. Remy was wearing dark jeans as well and what had looked to be a black shirt and dark red vest underneath his trench coat. That was the gauge that Spencer used for himself and why he picked the dress shirt that he did. The dark purple was a good look for him and it was soft and silky and, according to Emily, gave him a classy look. He really would’ve liked to top it off with a bit of eyeshadow, maybe some eyeliner, but he resisted. Just like he resisted the earrings that he knew would go with it all perfectly. He did, however, indulge a little bit, pulling on the heeled boots that he so loved, the very same ones he’d worn that night at the club that had put him just a few inches shorter than Remy. That thought made him wonder what their height difference would be like without the heels. He hadn’t been paying attention during their kiss to really notice. How could he be expected to have paid attention to anything but that kiss?

When he finally hurried back out to the living room, he found Remy sitting in one of his chairs, a book in hand. It surprised him to see that it was Tristan and Isolde. He was in the middle of the book, too, and looked to be enjoying it, like he’d read the book before and had skimmed to his favorite part while waiting for Spencer. There weren’t many people around Spencer's age that would not only be able to read that book, but read it in French like Remy was right now.

The sound of his heels drew Remy’s head up. The immediate smile that curved his lips and the flare of appreciation in his eyes went a long way towards soothing Spencer's annoyance at his own appearance. “Well would y’ look at y’.” Remy murmured. He carefully closed the book and rose from the chair, putting the book back on the shelf in just the right spot. Then he turned back to Spencer and his smile warmed a little more. “Y’r looking gorgeous tonight, cher.”

Color warmed Spencer's cheeks. “Thank you.”

“Are y’ ready, den?”

“Mm hm. Just need to grab my coat.”

They stopped off at the closet by the door and Spencer pulled out a black pea coat. It charmed him completely when Remy took the jacket from him and held it out, helping him into it. The gesture was old fashioned and it had Spencer smiling. Once he’d buttoned himself in, Spencer led Remy over to the door, but something stuck at him. Something that he couldn’t quite resist asking. Hand on the doorknob, he turned enough to tilt his head and look up at Remy. He found the Cajun just watching him with a curious look. “I don’t understand you.” Spencer murmured, not really thinking about his words.

“What do y’ mean?”

“You haven’t asked. You haven’t even looked like you’ve thought of asking.”

The curiosity on Remy’s face turned to confusion. “About what, cher?”

About…about what? Was he serious? “About me. About the way I dressed that night and how I looked coming home today and how I look now. You haven’t even looked confused by it.”

“Oh.” Pausing, Remy shrugged one shoulder. “Why would I?”

“Because everyone does. Even people that I’ve met at Stardust. Everyone, at some point or another, asks what I am. Or why I look so different one night to the next.”

“I aint dat fond of labels, me.” Remy told him. “I know em, I just aint fond of dem. I don’t care what label y’ slap on y’rself, or what label someone else slaps on y’. Y’ are who y’ are, Spencer, and I happen to enjoy who y’ are. What’s it matter to me what de term is? I don’t care of y’r transgender, androgynous, gender fluid—it don’t matter. Y’ wanna know what matters to me?” He leaned in now, bending his head just enough that his sunglasses slid and Spencer could see his eyes. The red in them gave the illusion of glowing and Spencer found he couldn’t look away even as Remy’s warm voice wove intimately around them. “What matters is y’, an it’s y’ dat I like. Y’r a smart and funny person. Y’ got a smile dat lights up de whole room and dis blush dat drives me absolutely crazy. Y’r nice, sweet, and absolutely gorgeous, an I’m happy to be here. De only care I got about y’r gender identity is making sure I’m talking to y’ right and not offending y’ an I seem to be doing fine so far, _non_?”

The lump in Spencer's throat made it too hard to speak. He had to settle for nodding. How on earth had he managed to find someone so damn perfect? No one was _ever_ that relaxed about things. People always ended up having questions. Often enough, people felt they could guide him, too, helping him ‘find himself’ and make that ‘choice’ between male and female, or to choose neither. Remy was the first person Spencer had ever gone on a date with that seemed totally satisfied with him being both.  Clearing his throat, because this was too important to just be silent about, he finally managed to speak. “You’re fine. I’ve always used the masculine pronouns. I don’t really identify in one direction or the other. I feel, both. It’s just that the things I like vary towards one end of the spectrum or the other depending on where I am, what I’m doing, or other things like that. You…you really don’t care?”

“Spencer, I wouldn’t have cared if y’d stayed in y’r work clothes, or if y’d decided to put on a little black dress an heels. Which, by de way, is an absolutely delicious image, I hope y’ know.” He threw that out with a smirk and a wink that helped to break some of the tension. Reaching out, he caught Spencer's hand and folded it between both of his. “I like de outside package, cher, dere’s no denying dat, _mais_ de important part is what’s inside, and I’m liking dat a whole hell of a lot. Dat’s de part I want to get to know tonight. _D’accord_?”

“Okay.” Spencer said softly. His smile was back in place and he felt his cheeks warming with his blush, yet he didn’t look away. For the first time that night he let himself finally let go of the last of his nerves and just relax.

Remy must’ve noticed it because he relaxed a little too. The tension drained out of him and he pulled Spencer's hand up, kissing his knuckles once more. “I’m really glad y’ decided to come out wit’ me tonight, Spencer.”

“Me too, Remy. Me too.”


	3. Courting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has proved to be just too much fun to write :)

“Well what’s going on here?” Derek Morgan asked as he walked alongside Spencer into the bullpen. The two of them were just returning from their lunch break. With no current case and just paperwork to deal with, they’d gone out to a nearby deli to grab their lunch, something the two friends liked to do on occasion. It was one of those random moments where they left behind the others on the team and just kind of hung out a little, the two of them. Derek jokingly called it the time where he got to check in on his adoptive baby brother and make sure all was well in his world. Usually, Spencer just rolled his eyes at that.

It took only a second for Spencer to see what had caught Derek’s attention. There was a small crowd of people standing around—Spencer's desk. What were they doing there? Curious, he quickened his steps a little.

As soon as they got close and the people saw them coming, the small crowd parted enough for Spencer to see what it was that had caught their attention. There on Spencer's desk sat an absolutely gorgeous bouquet of flowers. Mixed flowers, of all types and colors, in a wooden rectangular vase colored in dark mahogany that Spencer could already tell would fit in perfectly with the other bits of furniture and such in his living room. The person who’d picked this had obviously put some kind of thought into it. Not that there was any doubt in Spencer's mind who had done this. Only one person would be sending him flowers.

“Would you look at that.” Derek said, startling Spencer and reminding him that his friend was by his side. “Someone’s sent you flowers, Reid. Have you got yourself a special someone and you haven’t even told me?”

Spencer blushed at that, but he didn’t deny it. His lips were curving into a smile even through his embarrassment as he walked right up to his desk and looked down at the beautiful bouquet. _Flowers_. Remy had sent him flowers. That thought left Spencer ridiculously pleased. So much so that he didn’t even get upset when he heard someone ask “Isn’t the guy supposed to send the girl flowers, not the other way around?” All he did in response to that was blush even deeper.

Bless his friends; Emily stepped up towards him then, gesturing with her hands towards the others. “All right, everyone, back off. Show’s over here.”

“She’s right.” Derek backed her up, his presence just a little more intimidating to those that wanted to stick around. “Let the man appreciate his flowers in peace.” While Derek would undoubtedly tease Spencer over this, there was no way he was going to let anyone else.

Everyone started to clear away then, leaving just Spencer, Derek and Emily. How it was that Penelope wasn’t out here yet, Spencer didn’t know. She’d make her way out soon enough. Of that he had no doubt. There was no way she’d be able to resist. For now, he didn’t worry about it, focusing on the flowers and the small card that hung from them. Picking it up, he slid it from the envelope and quickly read the scrawling script there. _The weekend cannot come soon enough. Counting the hours until I see you again – Remy_. It was short, slightly cheesy, and yet it was the sweetest thing Spencer had ever gotten. This had been the very last thing he’d expected! He and Remy had been on three dates now—four, if you counted that first night at the club—and Spencer found himself falling just a little harder each time they got together. They’d gone out to eat, out to the theater, even out on an afternoon date through the Smithsonian, and through all of that, Remy had been surprisingly gentlemanly. When Spencer had shyly commented on the fact that Remy hadn’t pressed for more than a few kisses, which most men would’ve definitely been pressing for more by now, Remy had smiled and kissed him until he could barely think before breaking away and telling him “I’m lookin’ fo’ more dan a quick roll in de hay, Spencer. Someone like y’, it’s worth taking y’r time and doing it proper. Y’ deserve it.”

How was he expected to resist something like that? So, Spencer was letting him do it ‘proper’. He was being courted and it was the most amazing feeling.

When Remy had told him that he had to go back to New York for a bit, he hadn’t given Spencer time to be disappointed but had quickly made a date for the coming weekend, insisting that it was worth the train ride out here and back. He wouldn’t tell Spencer what he had planned, just promised that it would be fun. Oddly enough, Spencer found he trusted him.

These flowers, though, they were a touch he hadn’t expected. Nor had he expected just how much he’d enjoy them. Traditionally, he knew that this was one of those things that, as a man, he shouldn’t like so much. He didn’t care. Sitting down at his desk, he gave in to the urge and buried his face in the flowers, drawing in the delicious scent that came from them.

“Those are so beautiful, Reid.” Emily told him. She bumped her hip against him, a silent show of support that had Spencer smiling up at her.

“Who’s the lucky lady?” Derek teased him, moving to sit on the edge of Spencer's desk.

Spencer was abruptly glad that he’d pocketed the card. He wasn’t quite ready to tell anyone about Remy. At least, anyone but Emily. Hopefully he could pass it off to Derek as their usual teasing and not clue the man in that he truly didn’t want him to know. “Like I’d tell you. You’ll tease me bad enough as it is.” Spencer joked.

“Reid! I’m offended you think that!”

The snickers from both Spencer and Emily told Derek just how unbelievable his offended tone was. The older man broke into a grin and shook his head. “Fine, be that way. Keep your secret, for now. But don’t think I won’t find out.” He turned his attention back to the bouquet and his smile softened just a little in a way that let Spencer know that his friend was honestly happy for him. “Whoever sent it picked a cheerful one. It’s bright and colorful.”

Fingering one of the tulips, Emily asked “Don’t these all have meaning?”

Spencer ignored the low groan from Derek and immediately launched into what he knew of some of the flower meanings. “They do. The pink hydrangeas have many different meanings, but most people believe they mean ‘you are the beat of my heart’. The peach roses are appreciation and thanks, while the pink are love and gratitude, generally. The orange Asiatic lilies are often associated with passion. Purple stock is symbolic of bonds of affection and lasting beauty.”

“So whoever sent this is telling you that you’re beautiful and they’re in love with you?” Derek asked teasingly.

If Spencer blushed any harder, his cheeks were going to burn. He ducked his head down and ignored the laughter around him. None of it was enough to wipe away his smile, though. It stayed there through all of Derek’s teasing, through even a few joking remarks from Emily—who knew far more here than Derek did. Nothing they said could wipe it away, nor could Derek convince Spencer to tell him just who they were from. Eventually the other two went back to their desks to go back to work and Spencer was left as close to alone as he could be in the bullpen. Tipping his head just a little, letting his hair curtain his face, he let himself just admire the flowers for a moment, enjoying the warm feeling it put in his heart. He’d never been courted like this before. Never been treated and spoiled. Who cared what others had to say? Let them tease.

Slipping his phone from his pocket, Spencer opened up his text messages and, after a small debate, sent off a quick one. _Thank you for the flowers. They’re absolutely gorgeous._

It didn’t take long for the reply to come in. _They reminded me of you. Glad you like them. - R_

For the rest of the afternoon, Spencer found himself smiling every time he looked up and saw the flowers sitting there, bright and cheerful on his desk.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a case, Spencer decides to stay behind and visit with Remy

It wasn’t a well thought out plan. That alone was surprising for Spencer. He was the type to plan ahead, to _over_ think things, not to indulge in them spur of the moment. Especially not with something that he was still so nervous about and that had become oh-so-precious to him. Always, he’d been the type to hang back, to look a situation over from every angle, building plans and backup plans and, more often than not, talking himself out of all of them one by one. So it was just as much a surprise to him as it was to Aaron when they wrapped up a case in New York and he found himself asking his boss “Is there any way I might be able to take a few days, Hotch? Meet you guys back home once the weekend is over?”

To his credit, Aaron didn’t let his surprise show too much. Just a brief flash in his eyes that was quickly wiped away. “Of course, Reid. We’ve got no cases for the weekend.” Then, just a hint hesitant, a little bit worried, “Is everything all right?”

Spencer smiled at him while butterflies danced through his stomach. “Everything’s fine. I just, there’s a friend here that I haven’t been able to see much of lately. I’d like to take the opportunity to see him.” He couldn’t help his blush at that.

Once more Aaron showed his tact; he didn’t comment on the blush or let any of his surprise show this time. He just smiled and nodded and gave Spencer the time he asked for. Spencer was still standing there in the now empty conference room, one hand pressed against his fluttering stomach, wondering what the hell he’d just done, when Emily poked her head in. “Hey, Reid, we’re heading out….Reid?” Abruptly her casual tone dropped and she was hurrying into the room, worry bright on her face. She stopped at his side and put a hand on his arm. “Reid? What is it? What’s wrong?” She didn’t bother asking if everything was okay. One look at his face had told her the answer to that.

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Spencer said lowly.

“What are you talking about?”

Because this was Emily, because there was no one else to here, he answered her, his voice still slightly numb sounding. “I asked Hotch if I could stay behind and take a few days.”

He didn’t have to say anything more than that. Emily had been teasing Spencer ever since they’d found out that their case was in New York City. She’d been teasing him nonstop about giving Remy a call and meeting up with him. She’d even joked that he could slip out of his motel at night and go ‘find your man’ and ‘hook up’. Emily was still the only one on the team that knew about he and Remy. It had been two months now; two months of dates here and there. Day trips, quick evening dates, telephone calls, texts, all worked in around both their busy schedules. Two months in which Remy had been wholeheartedly courting Spencer and the young genius had found himself falling for it and loving every terrifying moment of it. But the one thing they hadn’t done yet was the one thing that Spencer both wanted desperately and was afraid of—they had yet to spend a night together. Spencer knew that, if he stayed here in the city and saw Remy, the chances were extremely high that they would change that little fact.

Emily knew it too. That knowledge had her eyes going wide and then her whole face lit up. “Way to go, Reid! That’s wonderful!”

“Wonderful? How is that wonderful, Emily? I don’t even know if he’s free. What if he’s busy? What if he’s not even around?” He swallowed down a wave of nausea. “What if he doesn’t want to see me? I shouldn’t just presume. I mean, he could have other plans, or he might not even want company at all, and what if he gets annoyed that I just _show up_ like this…”

“Reid. Reid!” Emily cut in, her voice sharp to catch his attention. She kept her one hand on his arm and brought her other hand up to press flat against the one he still held over his stomach. “Take a deep breath. You’re working yourself up over nothing. Just take a deep breath in and let it out slowly. Calm yourself down.”

He took a few of those before he felt calm enough to speak again. When he did, his voice had gone soft, just slightly afraid. It was okay to show that here, with her. “I don’t want to mess this up. He’s been…he’s been fantastic, Emily.”

“I know.” She squeezed at his hand reassuringly.

“You really think it’ll be okay?”

“I do. He cares about you, Reid. No one can deny that. The man spoils you rotten.” She said that bit teasingly, smiling at him and drawing a smile from him in return. Seeing it, she pressed in a little and gave him a small squeeze. “Just you wait. He’s going to be thrilled, Reid. I’d bet money on it.”

Chewing on his bottom lip, Spencer stared down at his phone for a moment, debating with himself. _Just quit procrastinating and do it. You know she’s right. He’s going to be thrilled to see you!_ He scolded himself. Before he could lose his courage, he sent out a quick text. Right at that moment he didn’t trust himself to make the call without embarrassing himself.

_Hey. What are you up to? – SR_

Remy’s reply came back quickly. He almost always responded fast to Spencer's texts, and if he didn’t, he text back as soon as he could with apologies for not responding sooner.

_Training in five, then nothing – R_

_I was thinking of maybe coming to see you, if you’re free this weekend – R_

A surprised laugh bubbled up Spencer's throat. Remy had been planning on coming to see him? Maybe he wouldn’t be as upset as Spencer had feared if he was already planning on trying to get them together. He leaned back against the wall, fingers moving over the keys as he typed out his reply. He didn’t realize that Emily had slipped out of the room.

_I have the weekend free. I’m not at home, though – SR_

_Oh? - R_

_We just wrapped up a case in New York. I was thinking, if you were free, maybe I could come see you – SR_

This was it. Spencer hit send and then bit the inside of his cheek, chewing nervously. This was why he’d done this via text instead of just calling. He didn’t know if he could’ve stood the silence that might happen after this, or if he could handle hearing whatever tone might be in Remy’s voice. That was, if he even would’ve been able to get the question out at all. He wasn’t good at these kinds of things. He wasn’t the forward sort of type. That was one of the reasons why he’d enjoyed this courtship with Remy so much. The Cajun too the lead in things, planning out their dates, asking Spencer out. In a way, he was taking the stereotypical ‘male’ role in the courtship, and that worked out fine for Spencer. He loved every moment of it. Putting himself out there like he was doing right now, it wasn’t easy for him. For Remy, though, it was worth it.

He didn’t really have any time at all for his worries to build before he found his phone suddenly inundated with text messages.

_You’re here? In New York? – R_

_Right now? – R_

_Of course you can come see me! :) – R_

_I’ll be done in about an hour. You can meet me here and we’ll go out to celebrate you being here – R_

At the end of the last message was an address. Spencer easily placed where that was on his mental map of New York. Not a bad drive, really. The cab fare wouldn’t run him _too_ much.

“So, was I right or was I right?”

The sound of Emily’s voice had Spencer's head snapping up. When he processed her question, he didn’t even have to answer it out loud. The wide smile on his face answered for him. Laughing, Emily grinned and hurried over to him. “I told you so.” She said smugly. Then she surprised him by grabbing a hold of his arm. “Come on, we’ve got to move. I talked to Hotch and he said I’ve got about forty five minutes until I need to be at the jet, so we better hurry. I don’t want to waste any time.”

Furrowing his brow, Spencer stared at her in confusion as she tugged him across the room. “What are you talking about?”

The look she gave him was one she reserved for when he did something that she considered stupid. It was both loving and amused, with a hint of exasperation at the edges. “Reid, you came out here without a single bit of clothes except for your work clothes. We’re in New York, a place you can be sure there’s going to be some damn good clothing stores in walking distance almost _anywhere_. We’re going to get you some comfortable clothes and get you all set before I have to get out of here. Now, come on! We don’t have any time to waste!” She gave him no time to protest, tugging on his arm and pulling him out of the station.

CXCX

There had never been anyone that Spencer knew who could shop like Emily. She had amazing fashion sense, a way of seemingly knowing the type of things Spencer might like without having to be told, and the skill to get in, find what she wanted—have him try them on, of course—and then get out in a minimal amount of time. It was the most efficient shopping trip he’d ever been on. By the time Emily was done with him, he had enough clothes to get him through the weekend, plus a few extras for good measure, and they’d done it all in thirty minutes. Some of the things she’d insisted he get and some he hadn’t quite been able to resist.

Once she deemed them _done_ , he had a few bags worth of things covering everything from a few pairs of underwear—“Reid, seriously, you can’t expect to have a nice weekend with your beau without gorgeous underwear, now get in there and pick some out!”—to a few new pairs of pants, some shirts, a small makeup kit that she’d tossed in over his protests, a few hair clips, and three—“Don’t give me that look, Reid. None of the team is going to be around, you’re in a city away from home where no one knows you, and you know you want those heels. We’re getting them! Consider it my gift to you.”—pairs of shoes.

“What am I going to do with all of this, Emily? I can’t haul it around with me.” He pointed out as they left the last store.

Emily smiled up at him and steered him across the street to the small bistro there. “Don’t worry about it.” She told him, opening the door and ushering him inside. “Just go back to the bathroom, get yourself changed out of your work clothes and into a new outfit, and when you’re done I’ll take the stuff back to your room for you and see about getting it extended through the weekend for you. Not that I think you’ll need it. I’m sure Remy would be more than willing to put you up.” She said the last part with a wide smile and a wink that brought back his blush once more.

“Emily!”

“What? You know it’s true!” Pushing at his shoulder, she shoved him in the direction of the bathroom. “Now, hurry up! I’ve only got about fifteen minutes left!”

Really, there weren’t any friends out there quite like Emily. For about the millionth time, Spencer found himself grateful for the day he’d met her and the day she’d found out his secret. He’d never had a friend quite like her and he knew he was blessed to have her in his life. There was no one more supportive than her. She gave him support, confidence and courage that he might not have otherwise had, making him feel less self-conscious about himself as he changed his clothes in that small bistro bathroom. It was hard to worry about being different in such a public setting when she treated it like it was the single most natural thing in the world.

When he came out a few minutes later, his blush this time was a pleased one when she looked over at him and let out a whistle. “I knew those pants were perfect.” She said when he got close to her.

He’d chosen a simple outfit. Black jeans, form fitting and low slung on his hips, a emerald green silk thin-strapped tank, and over that a soft black button up with only the bottom few buttons done and the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He had just a faint hint of eyeliner and a very light dusting of eyeshadow, the kind of green that always seemed to make his eyes pop more, he’d pulled back some of the hair over his left ear with two green barrettes that matched the color of his shirt, and he’d traded out his converse shoes for his new pair of heeled women’s boots that laced most of the way up his calves and gave him what Emily termed a ‘sexy walk’. It was an easy, simple to throw together out of the stuff he’d bought, and felt infinitely more comfortable for what he was about to go do compared to the work clothes he’d been wearing. Getting Emily’s approval the minute he came out helped him feel relaxed in it.

“You don’t usually go for so much black, but it works for you.” Emily told him, looking him over. “The green keeps it from being too much. You look great, Reid.”

“You think?” He looked down at himself and then back up at her, smiling nervously.

She reached out and caught his hand, giving him a quick squeeze. “I do. You’re going to knock his socks off.” She gave his hand one last squeeze and then let go, holding her hand out palm up. “Now, give me those bags. I’ve got just enough time to get back to the hotel and drop them off. I already called ahead and spoke with them and they had no problem extending your stay. You’ll just need to give them your card in the morning or else they’ll end up charging the Bureau for your extension and we don’t want that. They’d throw a fit.”

“Thank you, Emily. Thank you so much for this.” He said as he handed his bags over.

She laughed and waved off his thanks. “What are friends for? Just, do me a favor and enjoy yourself, okay?” To his surprise and embarrassment, she leaned in and pressed a kiss against his cheek. The smile she wore when she pulled back was full of warmth and love. “You deserve to be happy too, Reid, without worrying so much. Let go a little this weekend. There’s no one here to see you, no one to judge you except him, and we both know Remy likes you for who you are, not for who you think you should be. Don’t let your fears ruin your weekend. Just be yourself. You’re a pretty damn special guy.”

Her words stuck with him as he caught himself a cab. He thought about it the whole ride out to the address that Remy had sent him. Emily was right. There was no one around, no one to see him, no one who might report back to his friends somehow. As much as it shamed him, he thought about that way too often back home. There was always the fear of going someplace where he might be seen by someone he knew. The last thing he needed was to have word spread around the Bureau that Spencer Reid liked to put on makeup and dress in women’s clothes sometimes. Enough people already teased or mocked him for how he looked. Androgynous, some called him. Effeminate, others said. They threw the words at him like they were insults, like being _different_ was synonymous with being _bad_ or _wrong_. The last thing he wanted to do was give them more ammunition.

Here, he didn’t have that worry. He was hours from home and the only people he had to worry about were Remy and Remy’s friends. As much as a voice inside whispered nastily to him that he should’ve at least tried to dress better so as not to embarrass Remy in front of his friends, there was another voice that was growing louder each time he saw Remy that told him the Cajun didn’t care how he dressed, that he wasn’t embarrassed by him no matter what. That Remy really and truly accepted him for who he was. And wasn’t that a glorious thing?

By the time the cab finally arrived at its destination, Spencer had gone back and forth with his nerves so many times already. The sight of the mansion that his—boyfriend? Partner?—lived in didn’t really help matters any. Remy hadn’t been kidding when he said the place he stayed at was nice.

Spencer paid the cab driver and was barely halfway out when the front doors opened. He straightened up in just enough time to see Remy step out onto the porch and the wide, happy smile that he wore shoved away Spencer's fears and left room only for the warmth and joy that he was coming to associate with Remy. He felt his own smile grow as Remy called out “Spencer!” and hurried towards him. The two met at the base of the front steps and Spencer made a sound of startled surprise when Remy caught him up by his waist and gave him a quick, dizzying spin before pulling him in close for one of those amazing kisses that never failed to take Spencer's breath away. It melted him until the only thing support him was Remy’s hold at his waist.

When they broke apart, it took Spencer a moment to come back to earth. He blinked slightly dazed eyes up at his partner, who was looking down at him so happily he was practically _glowing_. “Well.” Spencer said, running his tongue over his lips and catching a faint taste of Dr. Pepper, one of Remy’s favorite non-alcoholic drinks. “If that’s the greeting I’ll get, I should come see you more often.”

“I can’t believe y’r _here_.” Remy said. He sounded so stunned, yet so happy.

Spencer blushed lightly but he didn’t look away. “We just wrapped up a case and I thought, since it was the weekend…” Pausing, he shrugged. Then he bit his lip and his gaze finally did drop down and off to the side. “I almost didn’t come. Emily kind of convinced me to text you. I wasn’t sure if, well, I mean I know you live here with a lot of people and I know I’m sort of, you know, not exactly the time one would bring home t…”

The rest of his words were cut off with a hard, fast kiss. When Remy pulled back, Spencer had completely lost track of what he’d been babbling. Which was probably Remy’s intention. One of the hands on Spencer's hips slid around to press in against the small of his back and drag him in impossibly closer. Dipping his head, Remy brushed his nose against Spencer's, lightly rubbing them together. “I’m happy y’r here. _Mais_ , y’ know what dis means, don’t y’?”

There was a hint of a tease in Remy’s smile, telling Spencer that whatever it was he was talking about, it wasn’t bad. His own smile softened a little and he shook his head, making their noses brush together again. “No. What does it mean?”

“It means y’ get to meet _mes amis_.”

Any other time and that might’ve terrified Spencer a little. Meeting new people was hard. Meeting new people dressed like he was, that was even more difficult. He’d put this outfit on to feel comfortable in and, he could admit it, to impress Remy a little. Judging by the way Remy was holding him, he’d succeeded at that. But he hadn’t really planned on going in and meeting anyone else today. Yet, the way that Remy said that, his face and voice so full of pride and possessiveness and joy, how could Spencer deny him this? It was the first time he could ever think of that someone actually looked happy to be introducing him to people. Remy didn’t look worried, or ashamed, or any of the things that Spencer might’ve expected from anyone else. He looked so very happy. So Spencer swallowed down his fears and nodded his head. “All right.”

The answering smile he got made it worth it. Remy tugged him in for a fast kiss and then they broke apart, the Cajun’s hand coming down to lace with his so that he could tug Spencer forward. “C’mon den, princess. It’s a gorgeous day, so most everyone’s out back.”

The new nickname made Spencer roll his eyes even as he smiled. Remy didn’t say it mockingly, or with any kind of teasing edge. He said it the same as he said ‘Spencer’ or ‘cher’, like it was something normal, something easy, and it gave Spencer a warm feeling and a happy little thrill. Judging by the smile that Remy gave him, he’d caught Spencer's reaction and enjoyed it.

The two were grinning as Remy tugged Spencer in through the front doors. This might be awkward, but Spencer had a feeling it was going to be fun. Things with Remy generally were.


	5. Pronouns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a date the boys get into a talk about a tricky subject - pronouns

“This is stupid, Remy.”

It was about the seventh time that Spencer had said that and he knew he’d probably end up saying it again. This _was_ stupid. This was stupid and weird and they really should be doing anything other than this. Yet Remy just smiled at him, the same as he had the past seven times, and didn’t look up from the laptop that sat on his lap. His fingers clacked over the keys as he continued to run his search. Spencer watched him do it and tried to scowl; the fact that it probably came off as a pout only made him want to scowl all the more.

The two were in Spencer's apartment after yet another of the amazing dates that Remy liked to take his partner on. This one had been sweet and perfect and Spencer had been almost floating by the time that Remy walked him to his door. Inviting him in for coffee–actually for coffee, not code for anything else–had felt right, and that was how the two of them had ended up sitting here on Spencer's couch with their shoes off and their legs curled up. They’d been talking about countless things, easy things, the conversation between them never stilted or difficult, but Spencer couldn’t even remember how they’d ended up on _this_ subject.

Pronouns.

Spencer had always just gone ahead and used the he/him pronouns. It was what his body looked like and what people labeled him as and he’d never really cared to correct them on a day when he was feeling more feminine than masculine. What was the point? It wasn’t like he was offended to be called he or him. That’s what his physical gender was. Taking the time to explain to everyone he met that he was gender fluid was just more of a pain than he wanted to deal with. He could handle people using he/him. Sure, sometimes it made him flinch a little, or cringe inside, but that was just sort of a fact of life. One he’d dealt with for a long time now.

Apparently, Remy found that entirely unacceptable. “Y’ could just give people a heads up. Y’ know I’d respect it if y’ told me y’ was havin’ a ‘she’ day.” He’d said.

Spencer hadn’t been able to stop himself from blushing at that. “I don’t…it feels weird, doing that. I don’t want people to be uncomfortable and unsure until I tell them what’s acceptable to use that day.”

So now Remy had turned himself to the internet in an attempt to fix what he considered a problem. To Spencer it wasn’t a problem, it was life. His life. But he couldn’t deny how it made his heart twist in a happy sort of way to see just how easy and comfortable Remy was with this, and how eager he was to find something to make his partner comfortable.

The Cajun clicked one of the links on whatever he was looking at and then his lips curved up in a smile that never failed to make Spencer's heart stutter a few times. Devilish eyes flashed up towards him. “I found a page here with plenty of people just like y’ who aint quite sure what to do wit’ de whole pronoun t’ing. Dey’ve got some interesting ideas on here. One person here says dey wear a two-tone bracelet. On de day dey wanna be he/him, dey put de one color up. On de day dey feel she/her, dey turn it and show de other color. It’s a way fo’ deir friends to know without having to ask.”

That was, well, it was slightly better than telling someone every single day what he preferred to be called. But really…Spencer shrugged uncomfortably. “I don’t know. That doesn’t…”

“Not fo’ y’.” Remy said simply. He smiled reassuringly at him. “Dat’s fine, cher. Dis aint meant to force y’ into anyt’ing. We’re just seeing if we can find y’ somet’ing dat works. Dere aint no right answer here. If it don’t feel right, it don’t feel right.” His eyes dropped back down to the screen and Spencer watched the shift of light over his face as he scrolled down whatever he was looking about. “If y’ don’t want to change y’r pronoun each day, why don’t we pick y’ one to use all de time? Dere’s a list here of gender-neutral pronouns dat some people like.”

“This is stupid.” Spencer said yet again.

Remy flashed him a smile that was more sweet than anything else. “If it makes y’ comfortable, it aint ever stupid.”

Blush colored Spencer's cheeks and he dropped his gaze down to is lap. He heard Remy’s low chuckle at that, warm and easy, and then his partner was speaking once more. “What about ne? Ne, nem, nir, nirs, nemself.”

“No.” Absolutely not. Spencer's nose wrinkled up. That didn’t fit at all.

“Mm. Ve? Ve, vir, vis, verself.”

The two met eyes across the laptop and both of them shook their head. “I don’t think so.” Spencer said, and Remy immediately nodded. “It don’t suit y’. All right, hm…I aint quite sure about dis next one. I’m not sure how to say it.”

“Then I don’t want that one either.” Spencer said firmly. “I don’t want something that people aren’t even sure how to say.”

“Well, if we figure it out dey aint gonna see it written, dey’re just gonna always hear it said.” Remy pointed out.

Still, Spencer shook his head. “It’s not…Remy, this is stupid. I’m not hurting using he and him. This is all pointless.”

Remy just kept talking as if Spencer hadn’t said anything. “What about dis one? Ze, zir, zirs, zirself.”

“I…” Spencer paused, his voice cutting off as he thought about it. Then he tilted his head a little. Huh. It was, different, but not awkward, not really. At least not in his head. It might he awkward for others to say or use, though. But Spencer imagined what it would be like it people addressed him that way. It wouldn’t be _bad_. He chewed on his bottom lip and debated back and forth. “I’m not…sure?”

His hesitance didn’t seem to bother Remy at all. “We can try it, if y’ want. Give it a test run, maybe. I could start using it fo’ a little while just to see how it feels for y’. If y’ like it, we can stick with it. If y’ don’t, we can always move on an try out somet’ing else. Lots of people seem to use ‘dem’ as a pronoun. Dem, dey, deirs, demselves.”

Despite the oddness of the situation, there was no stopping the smile that touched Spencer's lips when he listened to Remy try and list the they/them pronouns. He attempted to lessen his accent on them and failed miserably at it. It sort of turned them into different pronouns entirely. How on earth had he been blessed with someone so wonderful? Someone who not only understood him but made an effort to understand him even better? “I’m very lucky to have you, Remy LeBeau.” Spencer said softly.

Remy smiled so bright it was blinding. “I’m de lucky one, cher.”


End file.
